Have trouble getting a date? Keep hearing girls you have a crush on say, “You’re nice, but can we just be friends?” Do you not look in the mirror at least 15 times a day? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then Legendarily Awesome is for you.
Seeing as how life is all about “reproducing,” and I am the leading authority on this matter, I decided to do the world a favor and share my insights. There are many things a guy needs to know before he can get laid… I mean reproduce successfully. Sadly, society, the education system, and women especially fail to adequately educate men. That is where I come in. I am going to teach you how to win at reproducing (and win at life in general). Before we can get into that though, you need to be educated on the problem.
I’m going to step out of character for a second to bring a very serious, life-threatening condition to your attention. Perditorosis (chronic losing) afflicts over 47% of the male population. Most men don’t even know they have it, as millions of cases continue to go undiagnosed. Thankfully, there is a simple test, created by the top medical dudes, you can take to see if you have chronic losing. The test is available at the end of this post. Men who chronically lose do things like give a girl too much attention, ooze desperation, are terrified of rejection, and lack self-confidence. They’re not exuding awesome or win… put simply, they’re not being Legendarily Awesome-like. I realize just being awesome-like is an almost unattainable goal, let alone Legendarily Awesome-like, if you’re a mere human. In fact, only a few people in history have attained this prestigious status such as Michael Jordan, Bill Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln, and Gandhi. But there is no need to panic! If you follow my site and the simple steps I outline for you, then YOU TOO can… come close. I do have to warn you that you’ll never be exactly like me (sad, I know).
Now you are no longer in the dark, and education is the first step. Be sure to spread the news to everyone you know, and follow along to find out how to prevent and cure chronic losing. A little known fact is that December 19th is National Perditorosis Awareness Day, so be sure to wear something with the word “awesome” on it to support those striving to win. And before you go, let us have a moment of silence for our falling comrades, who as we speak, are sitting at home right now not reproducing…
A Look ahead: Byway Theory – The REAL difference between men and women
Here’s the Perditorosis test:
Did you really have to ask?
No, I actually enjoy being lame.
What's a date?
What's a girl?
I actually did earlier this week.
I let her buy me things.
*No response because you froze in absolute terror*
I know *confused at why she's stating the obvious*
Go up to her and say that you like her.
Give her a "high five!"
Talk to some lame dudes all night.
Talk to the voices in your head all night.
This is a trick question. You didn't specify at what.
Again, did you have to ask?
I just finished winning at crossing the street.
Fresh breath? Check. Shower? Check. Cologne? Check. Plus, I got new, sexy clothes this week.
I have my own unique style.
It's what's on the inside that counts.
I'm awesome, so they don't matter.