Relationships: Part IV – GirlFax

In For fun, Popular, Women by J0 Comments

So even I will admit that ranking all of the positive and negative attributes of a woman can be a difficult, if not impossible, task (especially if you just met at a bar or have only been going out a couple of weeks). So what do you? How do you know that these women are safe to go home or start relationships with? What if you’ve already made a mistake and need to turn back the hands of time? After long hours in the lab, I’ve developed a few tools and products to help us make sound dating decisions or escape from dire situations.

NETWORK OF EXES:

Building on already existing social-networking concepts, I have created a network of exes. This network rates all aspects of the woman and shares any anecdotes or useful tips when handling her. This group will also include an average attractiveness rating, so that guys can search, not only by geographic network, but also by attractiveness network. Then you would be able to do things like search for every 8, 9, or 10 in the city of Missoula. This makes stalking much easier, so you stalkers out there can focus your attention on not getting caught.

STD-CHEK

Just get a sample of a woman’s hair at the bar, and you can run a simple AND portable STD check to avoid any future itching and burning. The patent is still pending:

“Honey, please take the Plan B!” “But it tastes bad. Plus, we have to go ALL the way to the pharmacy. I don’t feel like going. I’d rather just get pregnant.” We’ve all been there. That’s why I developed 3 products that will allow you to keep a stock handy, eliminate the bad taste, and help disguise Plan B for the uncooperative (or crazy) women out there.

ENJOYABLES

Keep a stock and save when you buy in bulk:

PREVADENT

Don’t want to tell her she has bad breath? Don’t want to tell her to take Plan B? Now you don’t have to:

E-Z DISPENSER

Useful if you just have to have that free hand to hold her down:

THE GIRLFAX

And then there’s the masterpiece, the snap judgment perfected! I introduce to you: The GirlFax

Never again do you have to wonder, “Will sleeping with her land me in prison?” You have a guaranteed, GirlFax-backed birth year that even holds up in court, bro! Need a head start filling out your excel sheet to evaluate a girl? Don’t want to waste 2 months only to realize she will try to kill you? That’s the beauty of the GirlFax; you know everything before you even go out! No test drive necessary!

After reading my 3 part relationship series, you are now ready to start a relationship. Good luck! You’re going to need it, bro!

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