Prison Theory

In Popular, Theories, Women by J0 Comments

Have you ever been sitting in your prison cell and thought to yourself, “Dude, my bro is looking pretty good today?” Uh… me neither? Well like with every other human phenomenon, there is a scientific reason why this happens – Prison Theory. This theory gets its name from the odd occurrence where men in prison for a prolonged period of time begin to think that the other dudes there (especially their bros) are attractive. For anyone who attended Penn (or any other unattractive campus for that matter), you know a similar thing happens. You end up considering dating girls you would never even look at twice in any other situation. At Penn it’s been dubbed Penn Goggles.

The following are a few illustrations depicting what happens as girls leave your reach (or feasible zone). All girls outside of the circle’s boundary are unavailable for a variety of reasons but are all being equally lame, some have boyfriends or husbands, are too far away, are out of your league, etc… As women leave the feasible zone, the ones who remain in the feasible zone become more attractive.

As you can see, the women within the radius are becoming hotter as women leave the feasible zone. Women that did not even show up on the radar (either because they were THAT ugly or because they were male) are starting to pop up as attractive females. Thinking a woman is hotter than she actually is, is known as over-hotting.

It all comes down to basic supply v. demand:



As women decrease, desperation for boobs increases, thereby raising hotness of the boobs on the women that are actually available. Ideally you want the desperation equal to the women, so that the women aren’t over-hotted.

As you’ll see when I cover Hypotenuse Theory, dating an ugly girl isn’t entirely bad… EXCEPT in this case. As attractive women leave the radius, not only do the ugly ones appear to be hotter, their attractive level ACTUALLY increases. So not only are you dating an ugly girl, but you’re also not going to get away with anything, because both you and the girl think she is hot. The last thing you want to do is buy a woman when she is over-hotted.1 So what are you supposed to do once there are no available and attractive women within your reach? Simple – Expand the radius. A few ways to expand the radius are to hang out with friends (with the sole purpose of hitting on their friends), start a band, move, or become a billionaire.


Another way to expand the zone for all you fun and creative types out there is to make the women that are in a relationship single. You should also take advantage of every opportunity presented before you (and by opportunity, I mean woman), so make sure you stay away from the friend lane. The next post will teach you how to make your intentions clear and stay off of the friend zone.

1 The word “buy” here is not literal. I DO NOT condone the objectification of women and treating them like possessions that men can buy and sell. There is more to a female than just boobs, like her butt, waistline and how attractive her face is.

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